


The Time John Stilinski Learned To Knock

by 42hrb



Series: Tumblr Fics [18]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Awkward Boners, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bottom Derek, Crack, Future Fic, Humor, Just awkward all around, M/M, POV Sheriff Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski's Name is John
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:14:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/42hrb/pseuds/42hrb
Summary: John Stilinski comes home from a long shift and just wants to relax, then he hears a noise coming from Stiles' room.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts: 76. “Please put your penis away.”

It has been a long shift. In fact, long didn't feel like a strong enough word to John Stilinski, it had been a grueling, painful, almost unbearable 18 hours and all he wanted to do was go home, drink a cold beer while he ate the leftover lasagna, and then go to sleep. 

Stiles' Jeep was in the driveway when he pulled his cruiser in. It shouldn't have surprised him, Stiles shift at the library had ended at 4, but it was still a little odd to have his son back home from college, he had gotten used to having the house to himself. 

The house was quiet when he opened the door so he thought that maybe Stiles was out with Scott, Lydia, or Derek. He didn't think about it as he walked to the kitchen and cracked a beer while he waited for his food to heat up in the microwave. He was halfway through his plate when he heard a bang from upstairs. It wasn't really a bang though, more like a thud.

He stopped chewing and listened but didn't hear anything else so he assumed he had imagined it and went back to his meal, but then he heard it again. He set down his fork and made his way slowly up the stairs. The sound had come from Stiles' room and he didn't know what sort of stuff his son kept in there, but he assumed it shouldn't be making noises.

With one hand on his gun in the holster he kicked the door open and then wished he hadn't. Stiles was  _very_ naked and sweaty, his eyes half shut as Derek Hale moved on top of him. John cleared his throat and Stiles eyes shot open and his face turned bright red.

Derek rolled off of Stiles and under the blankets that had been pushed to the side of the bed leaving Stiles completely uncovered. This wasn't what he had expected when he came up here, but he should have. Stiles and Derek had been playing a game of cat and mouse for years, it made sense that now that Stiles had graduated form college they would finally get together. 

Still, he didn't want to see his son having sex with anyone, ever. But here he was, Stiles looked like he was in shock, eyes wide and he hadn't moved since he had walked into the room, his hands were still hovering where they had been clutching Derek's hips. John averted his eyes, looking at the posters that had hung on the wall since Stiles was in high school.

“Son,” John said to his son very calmly, “Please put your penis away.”

Stiles grabbed a pillow and put it on his lap to cover his erection, but he didn't speak. If John knew his son at all, which he did, he had probably been rendered speechless from sheer embarrassment. 

“Derek you can come out from under the blankets, I know you’re there still, you can't will yourself into nothingness,” John said with a sigh.

Derek Hale slowly appeared from under the comforter, he looked just as wrecked as Stiles, something John did _not_ want to think about, not at all, “Hi Sheriff, how've you been?”

“I’ve been better, any day I don’t see my kids junk is better than this,” John said running a hand over the back of his head and sighing again. “I know you’re both adults but for the love of god, make sure I’m not home before you start going at it, or better yet do it at Derek’s place.”

“Sure thing dad,” Stiles said, he was still red, "And uh, maybe knock next time?"

"I just finished an 18 hours shift, I don't want to hear anything from this room today, or ever," John turned to leave the room, ignoring Stiles' comment about knocking. He wouldn't ever come into the room again if he could avoid it. Before he closed the door he said, “I expect to see you at dinner tomorrow night Derek.”

“Yes sir,” Derek said with a fervent nod. He still had the blanket around his waist, something that John was grateful for, he didn't need to see Derek's junk on top of already having seen Stiles'.

When he closed the door he heard Stiles' voice, an octave higher than usual, "You were suppose to tell me if he came home!"

"Sorry I was a little distracted by the cock in my ass," Derek retorted and John walked faster, not wanting to hear another word of that conversation.

How was this John’s life? Werewolves, banshees, and now his son was dating an exonerated murder suspect. What next? Stiles as a wizard? 

A month later John regretted that thought when he found his son's collection of magic books  _and_ a very expansive collection of sex toys. He needed his kid to get his own place, stat. 

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](exhuastedpigeon.tumblr.com)


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